Thoughts!!!!! (Read If bored)

Ok so another weekend gone...wow they just come and go just like that...my weekend was interesting...I did a cool photoshoot...different from what I have been doing so it was a nice change....I'm probably getting sick as I write this....I miss the old days when I didn't have to worry about bills and why is it I'm sore all over when I barely train....I miss when the music they played had meaning behind them and actual lyrical value! My home boy told me the other day that this girl said I looked like I was full of myself because I post pics on the net with  my shirt off and stuff...bitch doesn't even know me...but she could make that staement because I had to pose with my shirt off and look as if I was confident....funny how people can just generalize like that...but hey I can't hate the chick because I do the same thing some times...see a hot girl all posed out...you can't help but wonder if she gives it up easily and stuff like that...the difference with that is I think guys get more interested and women get less interested....different motives though....I remember the first time I put a shirtless pic up was when me and erica had broken up...I always thought it was gay to have a pic of your shirt off so I never did it...but I put the picture up because she had said i looked fat in that picture...my views went up alot...well with the myspace account...I always thought I'd be dead by 18...21 max..surprise surprise I'm still around....I have to battle with my suicidal thoughts everyday...I have to put on a mask to and tell myself positive things just to make it through each and everyday...dealing with all the fakes...hurtful shit that I see and hear....it's hard keeping your sanity...I don't know how housewives with 3 or more children do it...staying at home then dealing with a husband that expects dinner and laundry etc.....I'd snapp probably....mad propps to the single mothers because you guys..girls are STRong....women in general are stronger then men....we have to put on the strength mask...but women just are....they usually are the ones that deal better...must be because they have a strong social circle.....you know feelings are a bitch...I find myself having to fight them sometimes because getting hurt really sucks...but I don't want to be how I once was...empty...not able to feel....I look at people in their early 20's and they play the same games I did...I remember everything that I did back then...the people I dicked over...just for kicks I guess...didn't really think about it much I regret alot of it....but I guess that's what you have to do...karma does come back...it really does....Oh well so the monday begins and another week of misery....HAHAHHAHAH...Oh my bad...just a habit...another week of fun.....YAY!!!!

THe Black Spiderman

www.cafepress.com/theblackspiderm