Nationally Qualified!

So this past saturday I competed at The Branch Warren for the 2nd straight year. Last year it was my first ever physique competition. First time I had enough guts to step on stage and be judged in front of thousands of people. There’s nothing like it! I’ve come a long way and have even further to go to achieve my goal of a pro card as an IFBB pro. I took home first in the masters division. (35 and up age) and 5th in the open class for my height.(18 years and up) That morning I was extremely depressed. The past few months have been so hard. If people knew half the things I’ve had to over come, struggles with depression, deaths of family members, friends, suicide attempts. etc. they wouldn’t be quick  to stereotype me.  With all my adversities I’m still here . I’m taking everything day by day. I’m proud of myself because I’m still here. I can’t predict the future but for right now I’m focused on the bigger picture. Won’t let anyone or anything stop me! Anyways follow me on my journey. Not bad so far for a skinny little kid who used to be picked on and bullied in middle school. 

The Black Spiderman

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Thoughts!!! (Read if Bored)

So alot of things have been going on..haven't written on here in awhile so thought I would get my thoughts out. Been depressed over the past couple of weeks. What's new right? lol Well lets see...I won the Pan Ams back in late march...triumph of it's own but then a week later I got my black belt! I was happy till my ex tells me she is moving to dallas in july. She's one of my closest friends who's a female. It sucks but at the same time I'm happy for her! I've decided to try and do some fitness competitions...Physique competiting...my boy Sam talked me into it. Never thought I'd do anything like that because I always saw it as stupid...but you know I thought martial arts and modeling were stupid too...it's something new that I've never done...who knows I might like it and do alot more...besides It's a challenge so Lets GO! This year is turning out not as I expected...people that I thought I'd be close to I don't even talk to..people who I wasn't friends with I'm now close to...old friends I don't really speak to as much. DAM! These days not alot surprises me...women are the biggest game players around..they say men play games but that's not true...guys say what they want...women just like to play mind games...bored with their lives I guess...I'm not the type that gets depressed over a female unless it's someone I consider a friend then it's mostly because of that fact...I'm quick to delete someone's number...funny thing is when I do they start texting...and then they get butt hurt because I deleted them...STUPID! My birthday is coming up in June...last year was cool..I got to spend it with some good friends...this year not sure what i'll do for it?? I thought about throwing a PROJECT X party...yeah fuck some shit up!!! HAHAHHAHA Maybe..we'll see.....or just kick it with some close friends again? Not sure...went to the VA last week..met with my physician...he asked me some questions..upon me being honest he started getting worried and was trying to get me back on antidepressants and talking to a shrink...good thing I came to my senses and started making shit up...see people don't want to hear the truth...only lies....the world is a big lie...It truly is...everyone is out to screw everyone...and the worst ones are the ones who say they don't mean to....Insane! Alright it's a Fucking Monday..so that means I gotta do some work...photoshoot sunday....should be fun.


The Black Spiderman
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