Last night I poured my heart out to you. Tried to give us one last chance..give you one last chance. For 3 years since the last time you hurt me I had an emotional wall. You kept at it and broke it down. I wanted to be with you..to make us work. I finally decided to forgive you. You looked at me like I was nothing... not less then a month ago you were telling me you wanted to be with me...lets give it one last chance...I said no but deep inside I was thinking to try. But again I was the fool.. You did exactly what you did 3 years ago..you broke me..broke my heart!!! I realized as I looked into your eyes that you don't care about me even as a friend. You are unable of caring. You just wanted me to care and fall back in love with you so to just ripp me apart again. Well congratulations you succeeded. I drove home, my mind racing, tears...thinking Fuck this world...I want it over with...I can't stand living anymore... I talked to a friend on the phone..crying my ass off...like a little girl. In the past I would have killed myself over you....over this... I don't really care if I live or die anyways but the way I feel would help in my decision. I fought through it....I woke up crying....didn't really sleep...couldn't really sleep...now I gotta go train aand try not to cry in front of people. I hate that I've allowed you to make me feel....to feel the exact pain I felt 3 years ago!!!!! I hate that I kept telling you I loved you...only said that to 2 people...I hate YOU! I hope you get what you want.....but I will never go through this again with you!! You have no feelings....you are so heartless.....that's why I had the wall up because I knew you ...knew it was a matter of time before you hurt me again and I was right.....Gd I was right.... 8 years and now it's done.....
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